Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my being single is dangerous.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
