you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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