Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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