I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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