She is in my trunk
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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