Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i don't like sucking hair
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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