Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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