Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
