So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
