I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
