You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
