Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
