I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
