Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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