Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
