why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
