i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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