We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
