just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
