I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
