So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize