If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I AM VODKA MAN
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
