Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
