dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
