He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
