Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
