Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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