I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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