Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
