I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
