haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
