sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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