girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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