let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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