I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
