Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
