Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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