im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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