Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I need moral support for this bender
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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