hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
