i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
