What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
