Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
