i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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