Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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