it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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