I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Randomize
