its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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