Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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