his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
